1. |
The Valley of The Dead
12:28
|
|||
The Valley of The Dead
< t/w: substance use >
i cry out from the mountaintop
i crawl down and i don't look up
every single thing that i could want or desire
is in the trees, in front of my eyes
nothing even makes the slightest radar blip;
i'm hanging on for dear life.
i walk onto a southern train
i hope off when i can't hear the rain
i search for the land of the living
through the valley of the dead
i search for the land of the living
and a different kind of death
the courage of fear
takes me down here
i wake up with the western sun
i rise up and i tumble down
lyin' in the desert, where there's nowhere to hide
from anyone except myself
vultures take a dive and they pluck out my eyes --
now every sight is crystal clear
i search for the land of the living
through the valley of the dead
i search for the land of the living
won't you take me? won't you take me?
i search for the land of the living
i must first carve my own path
my search for the land of the living
left me one foot in the grave
the courage of fear
(take it, take it, take it, take it, take it)
takes me down here
(take it, take it, take it, take it, take it)
the courage of fear
(take it, take it, take it, take it, take it)
takes me down here
(take it, take it, take it, take it, take it)
return from the land of the living
where i faced me. where i faced me
return from the land of the living
and the loss was stood to gain
i searched for the land of the living
and i found we're much the same
i reach for the hand of the giving now
in every waking day
take me, take me, take me, take me, take me
take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me
take me, take me, take me, take me, take me
take me, take me, take me, take me,
take me, take me, take me, take me,
take me, take me, take me, take me, take me
the courage of fear
it takes me up there
the courage of fear
it takes me up
it takes me up
it takes me up
it takes me up...
there
|
||||
2. |
La Violencia
07:31
|
|||
La Violencia
< t/w: violence, family violence, domestic distress >
if they can listen without being silent
then here's a silent recital of every voice i've ever heard
of your last will and testament
or a testament to the limits of my free will
will my actions govern my mistakes
or will i rise above the ashes of your fascism?
it's like watching heaven's benevolence revel in irrelevance
because roses are red, and violence is too
if i forgive the sins of the father
will they live on through me?
it's my inheritance
at night, when it's dark, my eyelids, my eyelids,
they become my armour --
my dark knights in shining armour,
they, they keep the boogie monsters out
the streets are safer than the home i left
this dirt's become my skin now
i've got myself to live with now
and that there is worse than anything
that you could do to me, to me, to me now
i'm not that person anymore
but i see you deep in everyone
away, away i'm runnin' but i'm only going over, over, and over
away is over, over, over, and over
take your fear, take it out, take it out on your child
out on me, out on me, out on me to hurt yourself
they can pull me from blood river
demons be delivered
who's there throwin' me in her?
they'll be savin' me forever
from generations...
i'm a time bomb, baby...
the boy who cried wolf just died
the silent masses didn't wanna listen
i always knew they were anagrams for a reason:
listen | silent | listen | silent | listen
...now silence is the loudest sound
now go to the mirror: remove your head
that's where i stood when i lost mine...
don't stop. give in
a fist will bleed, a word will sting
imagination is a thing of power. great power
silence started yelling, screaming
the mind is such a terrible thing to doubt...
it's calling!
i can't help this.... i'm so helpless....
i can't help this.... i'm so helpless....
help me.... please help me... please help me!
if i forgive the sins of the father
will they live on through me?
i'm in my jammies
the hallway shakes and creaks;
he's getting closer to me...
(dad): "left! right! left right left! left, right, left right left!"
(demon): what was that noise?
(child): it was just the house 'settling'...
(demon): f*$k off, no it wasn't!... who the f*&k said you could come in here?!?!?!" have you ever heard of knocking, blast radius, or lights out, soldier?
(demon and child merging): don’t touch me... don’t touch me – don’t touch me don’t TOUCH ME DON’T TOUCH ME DON’T TOUCH ME!!!!!!!!
(demon and child as one): ha! ya like the pollock i made outta his f*%kin' brains on the wall?!?! I told 'im not to f*&in' touch me!!! EVER!!! eeny meeny, miny moe... catch a tigger by the toe... if he hollers, let him go... eeny, meeny, miny moe. WE ALL FALL DOWN!!! WE ALL FALL DOOOWWNNN!!!!!!
if i forgive the sins of the father
will they live on through me?
if i begin the end of violence
the river's blood will run clean
eeny meeny, miny moe... catch a tigger by the toe... if he hollers, let him go... eeny, meeny, miny moe.
|
||||
3. |
faultlines
07:16
|
|||
faultlines (oneword)
< t/w: political violence >
i.... i know that they can see right through my vacancy;
hostile inaction
make... my allies enemies
divide and conquer me;
progressive factions
it's my fault. my fault, my fault, my fault.
faultlines. faultlines. faultlines. faultlines.
fault... lines...
you're my phantom enemy
i've never loved someone i hate so dearly
the tinnitus of my inner jury
it's your fault. it's all your fault. it's your fault. your fault.
faultlines. faultlines. faultlines. faultlines
faultlines. faultlines. faultlines. faultlines
fault... lines...
we must shine the brightest light upon the darkest heart
or our true colours will never fade
get out of your own way
it's not my fault. it's not your fault. it's not our fault.
it's nobody's fault
faultlines. faultlines. faultlines. faultlines
faultlines. faultlines. faultlines. faultlines
fault... lines...
|
||||
4. |
||||
An Elegy of Sorts (Written From a Porch)
< t/w: suicide, distress, grief >
if i could do one thing over
i don't know what i'd choose...
maybe move to Chicago when i left my mother's womb
if i could see something from my porch rocking chair point-point-point-point-of-view;
it's hazy when the fog clears from my drugstore spectacles
promises that were never broken,
they broke me in two
pride was just the tool, the mask, the barrier to truth, the burial of youth
if i could hold one breath
it would be the one just before your exit
without expression or second-guesses
and everyone cared just a little
but no one cared just quite enough
they all got their reasons
you can never leave what you never, ever, ever, ever, ever left behind
if i could leave one thing as is
it would be that moment with you
but just like a breath, it's not the safest thing to hold onto
if i could say something from your postscript point-of-view
i'd ask me where you really were when i really needed you
the clock's hands are clapping
as though they are laughing down on me
it was always your anger
never my constant state of fear
we stand by your graveside
but it's the loss of the living that we grieve
i'll spread my own ashes
and dance as they scatter in the breeze
it's the memory of you that i hold dear and true
but it's more that you died than my love for you
some words that are never spoken
they sound better said
sometimes it's just letting go of that long he-he-he-held breath
one thing (if i could do)... one thing (if i could do)...
one thing (if i could do)... one thing (if i could do)...
just one thing, just one thing
just one thing
just one one one one one one one one one one
one thing
|
||||
5. |
||||
(the permanence of impermanence)
< t/w: grief and loss >
there was once a sun who loved a moon
every day and night, one died to let the other rise and shine
the clouds would always say, "there's plenty of room."
and the sky keeps crying, so the seasons can bloom
stars are lights: they shine before they shoot
nothing ever dies, it's just subsumed
everything will pause and then resume
|
a question of when Toronto, Ontario
when it happens to you... now
Streaming and Download help
If you like a question of when, you may also like:
Bandcamp Daily your guide to the world of Bandcamp